Projémon: The Project
The Project. Like the may fly, its lifespan is predefined on its inception (although some have seemingly endless extensions). Like the bowerbird it creates an item of attraction and wonder in order to appear more enticing than its fellow Projects. And like the dodo, the sheer number of predators (colloq: project monsters or "Projémon" [Avoid 'em all!]) that threaten its delicious existence beggars belief.
Fortunately, the Project has so far managed to avoid extinction in the wild. Efforts at domestication range from the wildly successful to catastrophic failures; to date it is a rare Project (plural: Portfolio) Manager who is able to claim 100% success. This article details some of the most virulent threats to the feral or domestic Project; along with some of the techniques the Project has evolved to protect itself during its long migration from inception to its release and beyond. It is hoped that this level of education will result in a boom of successful Project releases and a diminishment of the threats to this peaceful creature.
The Project (Id create or the domesticated Id create familiaris) is a prized creature, able to convert resources found in its natural habitat (budget, time, quality, scope) into a much sought after ‘end product'.
Evolution and Taxonomy
The Project has been domesticated by numerous cultures, from its native Manage-asca it has migrated throughout the known world. Localized breeds can exhibit vastly different traits via divergent evolution; for example some have aquatic appendages for thriving in waterfall environments where others have lengthened limbs to enable repeated sprinting.
All Projects share the common trait of an end product similar to the bowerbird's bower; the above image shows the Project showing off its much-prized bells and whistles. Used for attracting buyers or clients; its perceived potential attractiveness is how the Project secures its life-sustaining resources. A Project can come in a wide variety of sizes, shapes and compositions (hence the genus 'Id' or 'That'). Similar to a koala, the Project has a limited diet consisting of four resource groups: budget, time, quality and scope. Projects both domesticated and wild are susceptible to a wide range of predators including but not limited to the below, which target the Project itself or the resources it needs to survive.
[Ged Maybury, 2013-08-14 19:43:45] most thorough, my good sir, except for the vital matter of cross-breeding. I know, I know, a delicate subject in this most genteel of companies, but if you care to elucidate into a plain brown wrapper and post it to my door, perhaps those of us with stout constitutions and the correctly locked study doors might examine the matter at our discretion.
[Professor von Explaino, 2013-08-18 10:00:53] Sir Maybury,
Cross-breeding of projects is an interesting affair given their procreational habits, however it does not require the brown paper packages tied up with string treatment some may expect(1). Singularly and in groups the predominant method of breeding is via budding (see a future instalment re: the Scope Creep). Otherwise, projects tend to crossbreed quite readily in a Portfolio structure; unfortunately this also fosters an atmosphere of project cannibalism, where some projects absorb smaller projects and lesser bowers become a facet of the greater. While this does balance the budding procreation above it can lead to a kind of mange called "asset shedding". Too much asset shedding can cause a psychological upset in even the largest project.
- Try thinking of this during that particular musical with a straight face.